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May 5th, 2006
12:21 am - I wish there was girl school
Can someone please explain to me why boys are so confusing? I feel like I missed a day in girl school. I'm not a normal girl when it comes to this sort of thing. In other areas of my life I'm so mature, but when it comes to "dating" I'm at like the eighth grade level. I never know what the next step should be, how I should act, etc. I know I should just be myself and not try to play games, but its hard when I feel like he's playing a game that he expects me to know the rules to. And now apparently I've broken another one, and that means I'm going to get ignored for about a week. Who knows if this time he'll actually call me again. I wish he would either come right out and say "Yes, Christina, I think you are beautiful and amazing and wonderful and I'm totally into you" or "You know what, I kind of can't stand you". Right now, I'd be satisfied with either answer, its just this ambiguous-ness that I can't take. Grrrr. Happy Cinco De Mayo!!!
Current Mood: just, I don't know
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April 19th, 2006
10:28 pm - ugh
Every once in awhile I get this feeling like I'm failing at life. I honestly can't seem to get anything done. I lost my cell phone again, I know its somewhere in my house but I can't work up the energy to look for it. I have papers, lab write-ups, and homework due but I can't get them done before the very last minute. I wish I had a personal assistant to do all that stuff that I need to do but just can't. Its not even that I don't have time for it, I'm just lazy about certain things. I don't think I've ever been this burnt out this early into the quarter...my classes just seem like bullshit to me and I can't work up any energy for anything. Now I have a paper that I haven't started that's due tomorrow morning at 10, and I have a lab tomorrow afternoon that I haven't even looked at yet, and then I have another paper due Friday. I also have to find time to work on my online GRE class. I think if I had weekends things would be easier, but knowing that Friday is basically the start of my work week is kind of discouraging. ugh, I'm so over all of this. Maybe I'll see if I could get Saturdays off from work...that would make things so much better. Although then I would be losing a bunch of money. See, you can't win.
Alright, now that I've vented, time to start my paper on a classroom observation I never did...this should be interesting.
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April 13th, 2006
07:47 pm - Sigh
I want:
And:
And some:
But I have no:
It sucks being so materialistic. Man.
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April 5th, 2006
09:40 pm - It doesn't feel right
I hate living alone.
.
.
.
If it wasn't for my dog I'd be going crazy, and to be honest, as much as I love her, there's only so many one-sided conversations you can have with a dog.
I've never been so abandoned by a friend. It hurts so bad. She moved all of her stuff out over break, its like going through a divorce. It's interesting to see the things she took, pots and pans that I always thought of as "ours". She came into my room and got her stapler off my desk. And then leaves a note "Let's hang out this week!!". Please.
I hate feeling like I can't count on my friends. It makes me feel so naked, seriously. Like, if this person who I thought of as a best friend could do this, could the rest of my friends? Are all my friends just using me to pass the time until they get a boyfriend? I'm so sick of talking about it, yet I'm so not over it.
.
.
.
I wish people would make an effort to think about how their actions affect others. Because I know that I would never have done something like this to one of my friends...I care too much about keeping people happy. This has gotten me in trouble, but at least I think about it, you know?
Ah, screw it. I don't even know what I'm talking about.
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March 10th, 2006
09:57 pm - I have an addictive personality apparently
Hello? Pandora.com? Why didn't I know about you sooner?
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March 5th, 2006
11:11 pm - My dog is my best friend
So basically I've learned once again that the only person you can really count on is yourself. And your dog.
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February 26th, 2006
10:29 pm - dinner with parents turns into petty arguments
sagittarius to sagittarius, i get you, and I can't admit that I get you. Because I'd do the same if I were you, and yet I expect more. the things that annoy me the most in other people are the things that annoy me the most about myself. and yet my stubborn prideful self won't let me admit that to you. and I can't stand up and be the bigger person (but neither can you).
we're so similar its scary, dad.
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January 2nd, 2006
08:48 pm - what a way to start the new year...
So two things happened to me for the first time ever today:
1. I fainted. 2. I got a black eye.
These two experiences were related. I fainted and fell forward,
smacking my face on the bathroom counter. It hurt(s). So my "one-day"
trip to Morgan Hill has been prolonged yet again, as I had to call in
sick to work today because I can't turn my head to the left, making
driving slightly hazardous. (My neck is also really sore, but this is
unrelated to the fainting). So it looks like I'm in town until
Wednesday. Almost a week! I haven't been home for this long in a year.
It's fun, my whole family's been around and we just go shopping and eat
and lay around and watch movies. Kind of like being up in Tahoe like we
usually are this time of year, just no snow.
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December 6th, 2005
12:08 am - I say this every quarter...I HATE FINALS!!!
I just want to die. Why do I procrastinate? Why? I wish for once I could feel like I was on top of things. I need a good song to download so I can get back to work...itunes is the only thing that keeps me going.
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November 15th, 2005
12:40 am - Can it be christmas break now please?
I'm so tired that I can't sleep. I feel like I've been going at such a breakneck speed these past few days, now that I can actually relax and calm down I can't. I got three hours of sleep last night, but I pumped myself so full of caffeine today that now my skin itches. I've been living off of 7-11 coffee and junk food and pretty much been wearing the same clothes for about 3 days. But now its over, the midterm is done and there's nothing I can do about it anymore. I want so badly to do well this quarter, I'm pushing myself really hard and now starting to feel the effects. Working 26 hours a week at my new job, plus 15 hours at the lab, and school is just bearly tolerable, add midterms and papers on top of that and I start to feel really crazy. I decided to skip out on classes tomorrow morning so I can sleep in a bit, get some last minute homework done and drink a cup of coffee leisurely, then go to work at 12:30. I think I need a bit of a break.
apparently its really cool to blast techno music at 12:45 am on a monday night. at least my neighbors seem to think so. I'm not so sure.
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November 1st, 2005
10:58 pm - Oh, the joys of living in a craphole
So a rat died in our ceiling/floor (between the first and second floors) and it smells. Horrible. The pest guy came and said basically he can either chop up our ceiling or we can wait until the body decomposes into bones and it stops smelling. And then he put a gigantic rat trap over the hole outside where the stupid rodents are coming in and we have to check it everyday until we catch a rat, and then we have to empty it...as in, pick up the trap with the smushed rat in it, and un-smush it, and throw it away. Ew. I want to be a vet, and this grosses me out. So I went to Safeway and bought a million different air-freshener things, so now our kitchen smells like a perfumed dead rat.
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October 12th, 2005
09:47 pm - It's the caffeine talking
So basically everytime I finally think I'm doing something awesome with my life I meet someone who proves me otherwise. Which is a good thing I guess, there are things for me to reach for and people for me to aspire to. I found out that a girl I used to go to high school with is traveling around the world interviewing rock stars (literally, like, she has a picture with Dave Grohl.). I wish I had more than one life to live because there are so many things I want to do. I feel like I'm picking this one path, but there are like 20 or 30 other paths I could have taken and been just as happy, just in a different way. When I was younger it was my dream to be a writer. Then I wanted to be a lawyer, a librarian (what?), a news anchor, a journalist, a dolphin trainer, a clown in the circus (I swear). One of my dreams was also to be a veterinarian, and now I've arbitrarially decided to follow that one path. It's interesting to think about the existence of fate, destiny, God's plan, whatever you want to call it. Did I choose this path? Or was it chosen for me?
I've been thinking a lot lately about the intersection between faith and science. Can you believe in God and be a scientist? Does believing in the evolution of living things automatically negate the presence of a God? I've been struggling with this because there is no doubt I believe in the truth, strength, and solidarity of science. It is something tactile, science can be seen, proven, studied, you can hold it in your hands (in a way). The definition of believing in God is faith. There is a point, when you believe in a God, that the argument for His (Her) presence skips a step, goes from "I know this" to "I don't know, I just believe". And there is no rebuttal to that argument. And on another note, since scientists claim to believe only what they can see, and since science has never proven or disproven God, can scientists be athiests? Isn't believing, knowing, that there is no God exactly the same as believing, knowing, that there is a God? Neither group has ever seen concrete evidence. Athiests don't have some special knowledge about the universe that Christians don't have, its about seeing things, and interpreting them one way or another. I think Athiesm is just as much as a religion as one based on an Almighty God. Athiests have faith that the universe is nothingness, just as believers have faith in something else.
Just something to ponder.
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October 8th, 2005
09:55 pm
I was just watching the news (incidentally, it was Fox News) and they had one of the Alabama state representatives talking about how Hurricane Katrina was a punishment from God. Since New Orleans is known as a sinful city, apparently God decided enough was enough and decided to wipe it out, Gomorrah-esque. I'd like to hear him tell that to the millions of people who lost everything to a natural disaster. Yeah, you guys are sinners (and black and poor), so therefore you are being judged by the hand of God. I'm at a loss. I can't believe that someone who calls themself a "Christian" would believe something like that. It's so ridiculous. Ironically, the first businesses to be back after the hurricane were the strip clubs and bars in the French Quarter, a center of "sinfulness". It's getting harder and harder for me to call myself a Christian, because it seems like Christianity in this country is represented by assholes like this guy.
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October 6th, 2005
11:38 pm - Yes.
Friday, September 2nd, 2005
Vacation is Over... an open letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush
Friday, September 2nd, 2005
Dear Mr. Bush:
Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.
Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping with national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?
Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her!
I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?
And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!
On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.
There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.
No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30 percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this!
You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.
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01:51 am
Can I just tell everyone? I HAD A WONDERFUL DAY TODAY. It's true. I did.
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September 11th, 2005
10:32 pm - Random
So I went to my first ever baseball game today! It was way more fun than I expected, I have to say, even though the Giants lost. The weather was perfect, and it was so much fun to hang out with my family and our friends. My mom and her friend Luanne were in the background when this couple in front of us was being filmed and put up on the big screen, it was hilarious because they're totally clueless at first and then they just started screaming and waving. I had to keep asking people what was going on, its a lot easier to tell when you're watching games on TV because there are announcers that explain things. However it was so cool to be like hey! I'm here!
I'm so ready for school to start. Summer is getting boring, I just need a change in the routine I think. I don't know what I'm going to do when I'm done with school I don't have it to look forward to in the fall. I've always been one of those kids who looked forward to school, I love getting new clothes and notebooks and backpacks. Freshly sharpened pencils. Yes. I can't believe I'm graduating from college this year. I will be a college graduate with a degree. What?! What happened?!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/nolegs/pensive.gif) pensive
Current Music: Alicia Keys
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August 31st, 2005
08:56 pm - Forever the third wheel...
Jessica has a new boyfriend, which means once again I'm pushed to the back burner. I'm happy for her because she's happy, but I have to admit that I'm jealous of the time she spends with him when we used to hang out 24/7. I had three people today talk to me about their relationship drama. Its like I'm the once people go to when they need advice about their boyfriend/girlfriend, which I think is funny because its not like I have a ton of experience to draw upon. Don't get me wrong, I love helping my friends out and being that friendly ear for them to vent to, but it does get a little bit old. And then the unavoidable question "So how about you Christina? Any boys?". And then the same answer always..."Nope, not lately...".
As a side note, the new Death Cab for Cutie came out yesterday. And I'm addicted.
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August 9th, 2005
07:36 pm
Christina is one of the industrys most in-demand songwriters.
Christina is FOUR!!
The atmosphere at Christina's is very romantic.
Christina is fading away.
Christina is probably the best singer I've ever heard.
The Christina is not a very popular piercing, due to its lengthy healing time.
Christina is my owner.
Christina is shaken by the news that her possessive boyfriend may be wanted.
Christina is also a certified public speaker specializing in abstinence education.
Christina is considered to be partially conscious.
Christina is back with her good friend Lil Kim.
Christina is Piping HOT!!
When Christina is twenty one she will inherit a large sum of money.
Christina is very bright and assertive, a go-get'em kind of woman.
Christina is fetishized by those who accept her schoolgirl image.
I really wish I didn't share a name with a certain pop singer...
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July 28th, 2005
July 24th, 2005
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steenagirl's journal
